


Miserable at best

by orphan_account



Category: X-Men (Comicverse)
Genre: Gen, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Inspired by Fanfiction, Sibling Bonding, Victim Blaming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-12
Updated: 2018-02-12
Packaged: 2019-03-17 13:10:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13659660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: After several stressful days, Daken just wants to spend an evening alone to sulk and indulge in his own misery. Laura has different plans and she has some opinions on how people are allowed to treat her older brother.Disclaimer:Credit for the original idea goes toCykelopsstoryAt Frost Glance. Credit for all characters used goes to Marvel. I own nothing.





	Miserable at best

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [At Frost Glance](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11898969) by [cykelops](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cykelops/pseuds/cykelops). 



The scent of soap, wine and vanilla hung in the air thickly. Daken lied there in the bathtub with his eyes closed, a glass of red wine at hand and soft music playing in the background.

The last couple of days had been a mess. Everything had happened in such a short time that Daken was not convinced he had processed even half of it. The thing with Bobby. Talking to Johnny. Meeting Jimmy. All of it just came back to back and then there was him somehow ending up involved with the _Avengers._ Of all the possible hero teams out there, it had to be the Avengers. Daken was convinced that he would have had a better time with the X-men and he never wanted to be on that team either. Or any team actually.

Teams were shit and he was better off solo. Better of _alone._

What had even gone through his mind when he decided to seek out Johnny after Drake’s temper tantrum? Go from one elemental to the next? What was he, a goddamn toddler with attachment issues? Actually, that was not that inaccurate but usually Daken had a better grip on himself regarding how much he allowed to show that side of him to other people.

Usually he was more in control period.

Something about Drake had gotten underneath his defenses and settled there like the single most annoying tick he could image. That was what it felt like at the moment. As if Drake had drained him of – everything. Daken had not felt this tired since losing his healing factor and discovering that staying up for three straight days was not something normal people could do without consequences.

It had started so harmless too.

Daken had been convinced that they’d part ways after getting Zachary back and then just wouldn’t see each other again but it had gone differently. He should have left and not looked back after apologizing to Zach. If only he had listened to the little voice in his head telling him that getting attached to anyone came with consequences and that he didn’t want to deal with these.

Taking a deep breath he pushed up and got out of the tub. The water was getting cold and he was running out of wine anyway. Daken grabbed one of his silky robes after drying himself off and went into the bedroom. It would be nice to sleep in his own bed again. As much as he liked Johnny, there had been a sick feeling in his stomach around him ever since the first morning. Daken was not sure why though.

There were too many things he was trying not to deal with and the heaviness of it sat on his chest, making breathing feel like a chore. This was why he didn’t do people.

The way Johnny had reacted when Daken explained what had happened with Bobby – it wouldn’t stop bothering him. That shove, the disappointment in Johnny’s blue eyes and the comment that he was … _lucky _that Bobby had only hit him with an open hand. It turned his stomach and made him taste bitter bile on the back of his tongue.__

__Daken just couldn’t explain _why_ that was. Johnny was right. He had insulted Bobby and gone off the deep end with that comment – he deserved the slap. He would have deserved worse. Why had Bobby kept it to nothing but that?_ _

___“I have given you every opportunity to get over yourself.”_ _ _

__The line had stuck with him and even now Daken wanted to laugh and scream at the same time. Every opportunity. When? And how was he supposed to just … get over himself? What did that even mean?! Did Drake expect him to not be as fucked up as he was in the span of a few months? Was that really it?_ _

__Probably. Daken pushed his hands through his hair and huffed. Drake knew nothing about him. Nothing. They had never really spoken to each other without some game of one upping each others pain. And Daken had kept it on the absolute low – the things he dared to bring up. Romulus had not even been a topic he brushed on._ _

__But then again, how was he supposed to tell someone about sixty years of brainwashing, manipulation, abuse and rape in a casual conversation? This wasn’t the kind of shit to bring up while they were bantering like they usually did._ _

__Part of him never wanted to talk about it. And the other part had been desperate for it. Daken had considered bringing up his past a few times but always ended up backing off before getting into anything deeply. Something about Bobby’s way of talking to him had never made it seem right to open up. And yet Daken wanted him. He wanted him badly._ _

__And yet not in any of the ways that people expected him to want someone._ _

__Maybe that was the real problem and the reason why both Johnny and Bobby had left him with a bitter taste in his mouth. Maybe it was time for him to stop pretending and just accept that alone was good. It was safe and simple and he never needed to fake things to himself._ _

__It had just been a dance and the moment he had instinctively tried to make it more – everything went to shit. If only he had let it be a dance. If only -_ _

__The sound of a lock turning made him look up. There was only one person who had a key to his place and that was, “Laura?”_ _

__“Daken.” She slipped in like a cat burglar, only opening the door as wide as necessary. It was a contrast to having used the noisy key, but there were some habits which even she had issues breaking. Daken was still damp from his bath and he smelled like sorrow, guilt, and bitter regret. Laura frowned and wondered what had chanced in the last few days._ _

__Getting off the bed he came into the living room and looked at her with a tired but not displeased expression. “Hey, what brings you here? I thought we had our monthly check in when I brought the kids over.”_ _

__Laura shrugged and looked around before her eyes settled back on him, “Gabby’s with Squirrel girl and the thought of just going back to my apartment … I figured there was no point in being alone when I could be with you.”_ _

__“Order us some pizza then. I’ll put on some pants …” Daken sighed and turned back to the bedroom to go find pants. So much about just not bothering to get dressed again._ _

__“If you don’t want me here I can go.” Laura pushed her hair back out of her face as she watched him, “You aren’t obligated to want me around just because I prefer you to solitude and have no friends.”_ _

__“Laura, you have all the X-men as friends. Not to mention that the little Warren still looks at you like he wants to worship the earth you walk on.” Daken came back with pants on and no shirt. There was nothing that was going to make him wear one for the rest of the day. “Don’t be silly. I think you are the only person I can reasonably handle right now without stabbing happening.”_ _

__“Well if you need to stab someone -” Laura crossed the distance between herself, the couch, and her brother quickly and sat down close to him, “- I’m not a bad choice. “_ _

__“You’re my little sister, Laura. I am not stabbing you.” Reaching out he brushed some of that dark hair back behind her ear. “I’d rather stab myself.”_ _

__“Don’t do that.” She leaned against him and then looked up at him, “The world is mean enough to us as it is. There’s no reason for us to help it out.”_ _

__Daken went silent at that and looked away for a moment. She was right. In so many ways. Daken was not sure what to say to that though so he just shrugged. Then he remembered -_ _

__“You talked to Drake. About me.”_ _

__“Yeah I did.”_ _

__“Laura … are you … tired of me? And for fucks sake, don’t baby me. Just say it if you are. I am a big boy, I can handle it.”_ _

__“What? What did he tell you I said to make you think that?” The look on her face was equal parts offended and confused. Laura shook her head and continued, “Daken, Drake is an idiot so I tried to explain to him that I think he’s good for you but that you’re a closed off person still learning to let people in. I told him if he decided to end things I’d be here for you. I told him that I pick you.”_ _

__“I - … I’m sorry.” Daken let out a deep breath and relaxed a little. At least Laura was not trying to push him onto someone else to be rid of him. Good news. Daken was going to take it._ _

__“It’s just … fuck, Laura I fucked up. Of course I did. Anyone surprised? Not me. I always fuck it up and the only reason you stick around is because you are a goddamn saint.”_ _

__“Are you kidding me? I stick around because I love you. I love you because of who you are Daken. That means whatever bad is there I’ll help you change what you can and want to change, and make space for the rest of it. You’re my brother and I love you.”_ _

__“But you shouldn’t. You shouldn’t love me. I always fall back into the same habits and the bullshit. Johnny _was_ right – Drake should have hit harder.”_ _

__Laura blinked and forced herself not to jump over the sofa and run out the door. She had stiffened up but after a moment, before she managed to speak, Laura forced herself to relax, “Drake hit you? Johnny Storm said Drake should’ve hit you harder?”_ _

__“I insulted Drake, he slapped me. I went to Johnny for … I don’t know, comfort I guess. He agreed with Drake though, said I was lucky he only slapped me open handed. And he’s right.”_ _

__It showed on her face, all the things she was feeling, which was not a common occurrence. Laura had learned to be more open and easy with her feelings, but she didn’t let them play theater on her face most of the time. It was clear that she was upset and worried, but she was forcing herself to be as reasonable as possible, “Alright, what did you do to deserve to be hit Daken?”_ _

__“We were dancing … in the Danger Room. A simulation, doesn’t matter why or anything. Point is, I freaked him out when I got too close to grabbing his ass and then everything went to shit. I panicked, you know that I do that when things get complicated and when people come too close – next thing I know he insists on being immune to my pheromones and even has me test it. Apparently he is, somehow for some reason.”_ _

__Daken knew he was rambling but he didn’t care, “It … fucked with my head and then he said he was talking to you and of course that would be why Drake knew just how to push my buttons, you know? I told him that there was no way someone who couldn’t figure out being gay could ever understand me on his own. And then he slapped me. Told me I had every opportunity from him to get over myself.”_ _

__With a long heavy sigh Laura shook her head, “Okay there is a lot to unpack here but I’m just going to start of by saying - there was no reason for him to hit you aside from the fact that he’s worse with emotions than I am apparently. You didn’t threaten him. You guys weren’t in a physical altercation. That means there was no reason for him to make it physical, and it also makes it abuse. The fact that Johnny Storm can’t see that says a lot about his family, and explains why Susan keeps putting up with Richards.” Laura ran a hand over her face and wished for a moment that she believed in God so she could ask for strength._ _

__“Abuse?” Daken frowned, “Laura, I have been abused. I am capable of recognizing when someone is abusing me. Drake _slapped_ me. He didn’t try to beat the living hell out of me. It didn’t even really hurt. Takes more than a slap to make me feel pain.”_ _

__“Yeah? How do you feel emotionally?” Laura crossed her arms over her chest and lifted her brows as it to say, _You know I’m right why are you making me spell this out?__ _

__There was a short pause and then Daken shrugged, “Does it matter?”_ _

__“Yes Daken, you know it does.” Laura sighed, “If Warren hit me, just a slap across the face because I upset him, what would you call that?”_ _

__“Abuse - ...” Daken frowned and then sighed heavily, “I see. Huh. Guess I still have a way to go when it comes to recognizing it when it relates to me. I mean, yeah, I feel like shit but I thought that was just guilt eating away at me. I feel guilty for what I said to him. I just -” He shook his head._ _

__“I just don’t understand why he keeps assuming to know shit about me when he’s never had a real conversation with me. I thought he talked to you and learned something but turns out he didn’t because of course you wouldn’t just give away my secrets.”_ _

__“I told him you were working through your rage. He’s heard stories from Logan, I’m sure of that. You’ve had run ins with Scott Summers, _the_ Scott Summers, I’m sure Bobby heard about you from him. He knows the sauve put together facade you wear. That’s what he knows.” Laura sighed and shook her head, “I thought that he was going to _listen_ to you. He’s good at that when he’s not being an idiot. You spooked him and insulted him, and then he slaps you … I don’t know that Drake is the man I thought he was.”_ _

__“I don’t know why I thought grabbing his ass was a good idea in the first place.” Daken chuckled bitterly, “I mean, I sort of do. Sex is an expectation between people who are romantically attracted to each other. But I wasn’t trying to get laid. Bit of a jump to assume the guy whose been stuck in the closet for more than a decade would want to get it on in a semi public space. With the creepy guy whom he barely knows.”_ _

__“So you were self sabotaging.” Laura nodded her head and thought over a few of her own relationships. _Is this a Howlett thing?__ _

__“I guess?” Daken sighed and pushed his hands through his hair again, “I mean, I wanted to kiss him. That I can’t and won’t deny. But bit of difference between touching a butt and kissing someone. Even I can understand that much. You know, despite my rather … complicated relationship with intimacy.”_ _

__Laura sighed again and pushed her hair back out of her face, “So, what do you want now Daken?”_ _

__“Pizza.” He said and then chuckled when she glared at him, “Okay, okay – I’ll take this serious. No need to glare at me.” Daken sighed and thought for a moment before saying, “I am going to apologize to him. For my own sake. If he realizes that he shouldn’t have hit me, I’ll accept his apology. But I will not continue this unless he shows genuine interest in getting to know me and leave behind his fucked up self painted picture of who I am. I don’t - … I don’t deserve to be treated like that.”_ _

__Without any hesitation Laura wrapped her arms around him and was half in his lap. It was something Gabby would have done, which showed how her little sister was affecting her. “I’m proud of you Daken. This, this is why I keep coming back. You are an incredible person.”_ _

__Holding her close he smiled a little and stroked her hair, “I … I love you too, Laura. Thank you for being here.” Who knew what he would have done if she hadn’t shown up to talk him through this? Probably something self destructive, violent and unhealthy._ _

__Now there was a small chance of things not ending in the worst possible way. Assuming Bobby was the person Daken thought he was._ _


End file.
